Before Violet was born I already had a baby (besides Poobrain Frank the Cat) and that is my work. In the past five years my husband Jeff and I built our rainbow illustration and giftware business from the ground up. What started as me drawing the odd £20 band logo whilst sat in my pants has now grown to something that pays corporation tax! We saw our business had potential to grow and we poured many 14 hour days in to it to get it where it is now. We aren’t getting our millions (yet!) but our business is now at a size where it happily pays both our wages (along with our lovely staff’s wages too!) which is so bizarre and incredible all rolled in to one!
Our office is in our garden, so ‘going to work’ doesn’t involve much of a commute in a geographical sense however our work still definitely still requires a lot of our time. Violet is nearing three months old and I’ve been back at work for two of those months. That often gets raised eyebrows when I say that. Sometimes the judgement is my own to be honest, it’s so easy to let that Mum Guilt consume me if I’ve had a day working in the shop away from her or a long day in the office. I know that, even with more conventional work situations, feeling guilty for going back to work and not being with your little one 24/7 is such a common feeling for mums.
But the reality is that we need to keep our business going as beautifully as it is so that it can carry on supporting us. And now it is supporting little Violet too (and man, does she get through that Aptamil!) So at the moment it’s Jeff and I taking it in turns to be on either baby duty or in the office with the odd few hours of joint working while Miss Nymphadora is snoozing. Although it’s not been long it definitely seems to be working well in the main and we seem to be gingerly finding our feet in this new incredible life chapter!
I’ve already learned how to be waaaaay more flexible with work. For example, if Violet is having a needy and clingy day or if I’m overtired and need a nap, those things will always come before work. I’ve not overbooked myself with big, time consuming commissions and I’m not overloading my daily to-do lists. If I can get one or two things done then I’m happy. And some days it’s just not happening and those things on the to-do list will be ‘get everyone dressed’ and anything else is a bonus. Although I’m an INFJ and do love a good plan, having Vee has taught me to go with the flow a bit more and I feel like that has done me a lot of good and perhaps even made me a bit more laidback.
So, although I’m sure Mum Guilt will always be there creepin’ I will just keep telling it Not Today. And keep on doing my best with the most magical and rewarding balancing act I could hope to be performing.
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