Violet Nymphadora

Becoming a mum has made me want to start a blog. I draw pictures for a living but there is something about taking the time to put things in to words that helps my brain to feel less overwhelmed. Almost like unknotting some of the tangles. And I don’t know how I would even start to attempt to put in to words the incredible whirlwind of becoming a mother to Violet, but I’m going to try for my first blog post.

My pregnancy and birth were equal challenges and miracle experiences in themselves, I will go in to those separately another time. But the second that I first laid eyes on you, Violet, it felt like a weight had been lifted. And not just in the physical sense that there was no longer a nine pound baby weighing down on my bladder!

I felt an overwhelming sense of calm wash over me. I didn’t know anything about you yet. But it felt like we had met before and, even now, after spending little over a week with you it feels like you are wiser than me in ways that I can’t explain. Your energy is pure calmness which is something that I have been wanting more of in my life for a while and something I have never before allowed time for. I’ve always believed in energies and auras but it was your dad who first mentioned that insanely powerful energy coming from your tiny wrinkly hands just hours after you arrived.

My priorities shifted from that split second I held you to me. Things that I would agonise or worry over before suddenly now feel trivial. And my ability to love has grown too. And I love your Dad with everything I have but this is a whole new level of feels! Your Dad always talks about a quote from Ryan Reynolds which explains it spot on; ‘I used to say... I would take a bullet for you, I could never love anything as much as I love my wife. And then the second I looked in that baby’s eyes, I knew in that exact moment if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby.’

Little Violet, you pushed me to face challenges and hurdles like a true warrior during pregnancy and I feel all the more powerful still since becoming your mumma. I’m who I was always meant to be now. There is so much that I can’t wait to teach you but in the same breath I know there is so much more that I can learn from you and your incredible sparkly soul, Violet Nymphadora. I can’t wait for you to teach me.